News Item
R.J. Reynolds Is Shocked
30th October 2009
Its Winston cigarette brand emblem is being used to protest the smoker pogrom!
Egad! Reynolds does all it possibly can to help vilify, disgrace, humiliate, and impoverish its customers ... and now some uppity bar owner is using an immense inflatable Winston pack to advertise his defiance of the all-holy pogrom!
Reynolds signed the Master Settlement Agreement in a sacred vow to uphold all the omniscient tenets of Public Health Orthodoxy and to fight valiantly in the heavenly-ordained crusade to destroy every user of tobacco products. No damned smoker pig bar owner is going to get away with desecrating the Winston pack: a sanctified icon of glorious oppression.
The piously alert Big Tobacco company has referred to the Gospel according to Banzhaf and shall follow it to the letter. The pig must quit quit quit his heresy right now and forever, and if he doesn’t, they’ll sue the bastard!
Reynolds signed the Master Settlement Agreement in a sacred vow to uphold all the omniscient tenets of Public Health Orthodoxy and to fight valiantly in the heavenly-ordained crusade to destroy every user of tobacco products. No damned smoker pig bar owner is going to get away with desecrating the Winston pack: a sanctified icon of glorious oppression.
The piously alert Big Tobacco company has referred to the Gospel according to Banzhaf and shall follow it to the letter. The pig must quit quit quit his heresy right now and forever, and if he doesn’t, they’ll sue the bastard!
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