THE TOOTHBRUSH LAWSUIT

Why not? There is no label on the brush warning about the dangers of brushing your teeth with car paint polisher, is there? Come on, people, toothbrushes may be dangerous tools indeed! Where have you been? Are you flat-earthers, or something?

But you know, these people will not win, though their claims are no more absurd than those about tobacco -- in fact, in many cases, they are probably less absurd. Yes, Hillary Clit-on may still warn that these dangerous tools may harm the children, but toothbrush manufacturers are not as substantial as the tobacco industry...

But wait a minute: anti-smoking pharmaceutical companies make toothbrushes too -- and they have lots of money! Plus, an anti-toothbrush cartel could quickly mass-manufacture studies to suit by hiring the appropriate University (though expensive, we recommend the ones in Northern California), and a settlement could be reached that imposes a 50-cent tax on each brush to keep lawyers, government, and the appropriate "anti" cartel fed and prosperous.

You know? Perhaps we should support this lawsuit: it would not be such a bad idea to give the pharmaceutical industry a taste of its own bad medicine.

After all, lying to, and leeching on society is the (new) American way!

LINK TO THE TOOTH ABRASION WEBSITE

LINK TO THE NEWSWEEK'S ARTICLE