Sniff ... sniff ... sniff. What's that smell? It's the pleasant tobacco-filled air in the corner of Norris 1999. The smoking section. Nowhere else on campus can you see Northwestern students so relaxed and carefree, enjoying a warm cup of coffee and indulging in a once-popular habit currently being bashed across America.

Since the Surgeon General's first warning about cigarettes, politicians, the press and mainstream America have decided that cigarettes' and smokers' days are numbered. Last year, our fearless leader President Clinton jumped on the anti-smoking bandwagon, supporting new, tougher laws on cigarette sales. Every two-bit news magazine has to have their weekly segment showing yet another reason why cigarettes and tobacco companies are secret tools in Satan's plan. Lately, I continue to hear more of the usual health class textbook comments from the army of anti-smokers.

"It's so dirty!"

"It's not sexy!"

"Don't you know smoking's out? No one who's anyone smokes!"

Well, that's all fine and dandy. Of course, they will all fail miserably because they forgot one simple fact that cancels out all the propaganda and laws they try to pass: Smoking is cool.

Cigarettes are so ingrained in American society that attempts to tarnish their image fail miserably. We all remember how our high school health classes attempted to tell us that cigarettes weren't cool; only losers smoked. However, when we looked around, all we saw were the incredibly cool American figures who smoked. The ultra-smooth Humphrey Bogart, the hardened tough guy Clint Eastwood, the super-sexy Ingrid Bergman, the comic genius Denis Leary. The list goes on and on. Whether anyone admits it or not, every time you see someone take a drag off a cigarette, you automatically attach a certain rebellious, exciting personality to that person. Imagine a cop movie with the star cop a non-smoker.

In reality, the more they try to tarnish the image of smoking, the cooler it becomes. Many of the new cigarette laws are supposed to make it harder for minors to buy cigarettes by censoring magazine and in-store advertisements. Great plan! So now it's ultra-rebellious for teens to smoke. I'm sure it will be a very effective method in stopping underage smoking.

Also, we can't forget the whole new flood of anti-smoking ads. My favorite is this ad that begins with a sexy, model-like girl smoking while the camera takes a close-up of her luscious red lips puffing away on a cigarette. Then, a guy comes up to her and says, "Smoking's disgusting. I would never kiss a girl who smoked." My first thought was that I would immediately start smoking just to meet this girl. It was the best free advertising a tobacco company could ever get.

Yes, cigarettes are bad for you. Yes, they cause emphysema and lung cancer. Yes, they cause birth defects if used during pregnancy. Yes, they contain carbon monoxide. But we just can't stamp out smoking because, hey, cigarettes are cool.

- Kirk Hoffman is a Speech sophomore.