Here's how I see the unravelling of future events if the present
anti-everything bans continue to be legislated by government and pro-health
vigilantes that support, endorse and assist in implementing their policies.
-- Bayla Pernica
PLAN NOW FOR A 100% HEALTHY NORTH AMERICA IN THE YEAR 2000
BUY A PLOT OR DIG A HOLE AND BURY YOURSELF!!
1. SMOKERS - Tobacco and Anything Else 'Smokable/Inhaleable' (excluding air
but who knows - they may pass a law insisting we must purchase our air from
expensive oxygen companies in order to ensure our own health and deter the
breathing in of pollution-ridden air) Could this mean smokers will be
allowed to smoke if everyone else is breathing in oxygen from their own
tanks? They wouldn't have to worry about second-hand or first hand smoke.
Entrepreneurs should investigate the potential for this new market. Selling
oxygen is presently becoming a popular health fad. In the near future I
suspect the government and all hungry for health and profit enthusiasts will
pass some law restricting people from breathing natural air. This would
result in the need to purchase only pure, oxygenated air from other sources
than the outside. People who do not carry oxygen tanks will be penalized for
indulging in any indoor activities, banned from any public places and frowned
upon by the ever-growing, 'health conscious' public. Because it is difficult
to label the (usually) invisible air around us, a great deal of imagination
will have to be used in developing signs to warn those who continue to
breathe it. Some suggestions may be to employ hot-oxygenated air balloons to
promote or rather discourage the breathing of air. Signs could read as
follows: "Don't breathe dangerous, second-hand air. Increase your risks of
living by buying Lucky Strike Oxygen". The tobacco companies should
definitely consider switching from tobacco to oxygen.
Result: No more
smokers and natural-air breathers but definitely a healthier but encumbered
by face-mask America!! Many people may move to Europe, Asia, etc.
2. DRINKERS - Alcohol and Anything Else Drinkable (With the exception of
government-approved bottled water -- made by the government of course).
Naturally (or in this case, unnaturally) for your health.
a) Alcohol and Related Products
There will be labels on all alcoholic beverage bottles warning of the
dangers of second-hand alcohol. Ads in the media will no longer be permitted
for the indulgence of alcohol-related products. Rather, ads will be allowed
if they encourage parents and others to scare their children into not using
any such products. All public places will ban the use of alcohol. Those
opposing the laws will be heavily fined. Children will be rewarded for
snitching on anyone (including their parents) who illegally purchase any such
products. Result: No more drinkers but certainly a healthier, but
not-so-happy America. Speculation must be used here on what the alternatives
are for those who used to enjoy a drink here and there for relaxation but can
no longer legally do so. Crime rate will escalate -- but does this increase
health risk? I don't know. Personally, I believe that murder by gun or
knife does constitute a health risk. Result: Many people will resort to
crime or move to Europe, Asia, etc.
b) All beverages containing sugar or any high content of carbohydrates,
fat, etc.
There will be labels on all of these beverages the Surgeon General warning
that dangers of getting fat or developing heart attacks, strokes, etc.
increases with the amount imbibed.
Note: The bottled water industry should get on this bandwagon and join
forces with the government. For example, companies that now boast having
their natural spring water 'sources' in other countries should reconsider
transferring their sources to North America and make sure the government gets
a percentage of the profits. Otherwise the bottled water companies may find
themselves going bankrupt. So long Evian - Hello Downtown Los Angeles
Natural Spring Water (bottled at the source).
Result: I don't even want to speculate. I definitely will move to Europe,
Asia, The Antarctic, or anywhere else but 'healthy North America'.
3. EATERS - particularly those who are over the government-regulated weight
adjudged to be 'normal and healthy' for Americans.
a) All foods containing what the government, FDA, Cancer Society, etc.
deems to be a high concentration of sugar, salt, chemicals, fat,
carbohydrates, etc. etc. etc. will be labelled and highly taxed.
The warning by the Surgeon General will be: Danger increases with amount
eaten. Avoid swallowing!!! Any individual who exceeds the legislated
weight-standards will be banned from public places. Ads for any food product
which has any amount of anything in it that might infer it is good-tasting
but possibly 'fattening' or 'cholesterol-ridden', etc. will be restricted.
Only ads encouraging the eating of government-approved, specially grown
vegetables, fruits and cloned animals (this opens up a whole new avenue for
would-be entrepreneurs who want to genetically engineer meat that has
absolutely no detrimental effects on humans) will be permitted.
Result: Those who like to eat but are afraid of getting fined (and fat)
will move to Europe, Asia, etc. See next -- Exercise!!
4. EXERCISE - Mandatory
Every single human being residing in North America will have to undergo
rigorous daily exercise routines in order to maintain their state-required
weight levels. Special boards will be elected to legislate the policing of
people ensuring they regularly attend a government approved health spa,
purchase a government-approved fitness machine or submit a
government-approved daily form of how many hours they spend exercising at
home/work/etc. Failure to do so will result in heavy penalties for those who
are overweight. There will be scales in all public facilities and workplaces
and each individual will have to step on (in front of a government-approved
attendant) before entering. Should they exceed the required weight level
they will not be allowed access (in the case of any public areas) and fired
(in the case of work places) Ads promoting various exercise and diet
products which are prevalent even today will become mandatory tomorrow.
Result: We will have lots of anorexic people but definitely a non-obese
America. The Health Industry will make lots of money caring for the new surge
of anorexic or bulimic (or both) people. Those who are strong enough will
probably move to Europe, Asia or anywhere else on the globe just to gain some
weight.
5. MENTAL HEALTH - Yours and Mine
a) All people who are anexoric, bulimic, learning disabled, open-minded or
in any way unusual in their mode of thinking will be taken to the nearest
government controlled facility and shot on sight. After all, we want America
to be mentally healthy too.
Result: Move to Europe, Asia, Antarctica now before it's too late!!
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