ROMANIA: THE POSITIVE EFFECTS OF CLINTON'S CIGAR

BUCHAREST - The Nando Times reports on September 19 that the Internet publication of the report on President Clinton's relations with Monica Lewinsky has given a welcome, unexpected boost to cigar sales in Romania.

Inspired by the pair's now much-publicized antics in the Oval Office, a cigar distributor in the central Romanian town of Cluj has renamed its product after the former White House intern.

Locals apparently can't get enough of "Monica Lewinsky" cigars, even to the extent of eschewing ordinary cigarettes.

"It has been an immediate success," said a delighted saleswoman at one store in the town center.

"Smoking a cigar is a bit like stepping into Clinton's shoes," mused an enthusiastic young architect, adding "and of course, there are all the sexual connotations."

Thanks, Bill, for helping to popularize the beautiful habit of smoking. We need to become the majority again to squash anti-tobacco out of existence, and shove the cartel in jail where it belongs.

We always knew that you are a good smoker, at heart.

> BACK TO FORCES MAIN PAGE <