Posted at 3:51 p.m. PDT Monday, April 13, 1998

Attack of the Berkeley smoke police

By William Rusher

UP UNTIL now I had assumed that the Health Police were determined to prevent smokers from smoking anywhere except in their own residences or in God's great outdoors. Now, I realize that I had seriously underestimated them.

There comes to hand a communication from Mr. Brooks Alexander of Berkeley, Calif., who lives in an apartment. Last fall, he received a letter from Ms. Marcia Brown-Machen, program director of the Tobacco Prevention and Control Program of the Health Promotion Division of the Health and Human Services Department of the City of Berkeley. It deserves to be quoted in full:

``This letter is in response to a complaint we have received about secondhand smoke in your apartment complex. According to the complainant, the smoke is originating from your apartment. While you are probably aware of the health risks from smoking, you may not know that the Environmental Protection Agency estimates secondhand smoke to be 50 times more dangerous than all the other regulated carcinogens. In addition, secondhand smoke kills 53,000 nonsmokers each year. Additionally, many people are allergic to smoke and suffer irritating to severe repercussions.

``As the program director for the Tobacco Prevention and Control Program, I would like to encourage you to prevent your neighbors from being exposed to secondhand smoke that may be coming from your apartment. You may consider buying a HEPA air filter for your apartment. Price Costco in Richmond is selling a mid-size filter for $99. Additionally, you may be able to determine the route that your smoke follows into the other apartments and take measures to block this route. If the ventilation system is connected to the other apartments, perhaps you could block your vent while smoking. Perhaps you would consider smoking outdoors, away from other residences. I trust that you will be able to create a workable solution to what could become a serious health problem for your neighbors. Please call me if you have any questions or would like to discuss this matter. I look forward to speaking with you.''

I doubt she is looking forward to it any more. Herewith are selected excerpts from Mr. Alexander's reply:

``As someone who chooses to smoke, I recognize that others do not make that choice, and I am more than willing to go out of my way to accommodate their interests. As someone who believes very strongly in being a good neighbor, I will do whatever I reasonably can to reduce my impact on those who live around me. I thank you for your numerous helpful suggestions on how to modify my behavior and alter my lifestyle, but I have already bought and installed a ventilating unit that moves the air directly from my apartment into the outdoor atmosphere. My opening to the building's heating system has also been closed. That should be the end of the matter for everyone.

``More importantly, the matter should not even have had a beginning as far as your agency is concerned. 'Secondhand smoke' is plainly the trigger term that is presumed to justify bureaucratic involvement in this situation. But there is no 'secondhand smoke' issue here, and to use the term is a first-rate smoke screen. You must know (though the complainant probably doesn't know) that the much-publicized studies on secondhand smoke concern people who passively occupy an enclosed space with active smokers. ... The complainant is not being subjected to secondhand smoke in any medically significant sense. ... He may indeed have gotten some tobacco odor through the ventilation system. He may indeed regard the odor itself as offensive -- and I do not dismiss that sensitivity as unimportant.

``But I do dismiss the notion that it creates a health threat requiring the attention of anyone other than the parties themselves. ... It is not the proper function of your office to micro-manage individual citizens as they work out the frictions of their diverse lifestyles.

``Therefore I thank you in advance for your future inattention to this matter and I look forward to hearing nothing further from you about it.''

So far, Berkeley has obliged. But, as Mr. Alexander observed in his letter to me, ``At this point, my posture is still defensive -- I've simply told them where to get off. But if they don't get off, I'm ready to get aggressive, and haul their unconstitutional rear ends into court. Enough is enough. This kind of tyrannoid ambition needs to be publicly rebuked.''

Amen, brother!