The bureaucratic crucible

The hysteria over second-hand smoke has turned us into a society of fanatics, bearing torches in restaurants and bars to root out the trendiest of modern-day sinners.

Any scientist who dares publish a study that may detract from the accepted knowledge is denounced as a stooge.

Smokers are not as loathed as pedophiles, racists or wife beaters but they are far easier to identify - that's a dangerous position to be in in a society that seethes with the everyday angst of life in the 21st century. Street urchins are mostly tolerated - so long as they don't get in your face; squeegee punks push their luck when they look you in the eye and approach your car.

But smokers...smokers are violating your rights. They are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, guilty of threatening the health and life of you and all your loved ones with their stupid, vile, filthy, disgusting habit. My hat is off to the propaganda geniuses who have so masterfully bamboozled North Americans into swallowing this rubbish.

As the swaggering tobacco executives of yesteryear were exposed as the manipulative, contemptuous scum that they were, legions of horrified and outraged people banded together to seek retribution. A Holy War was vowed - one that would topple the arrogant barons from their thrones and destroy their ill-gotten empires. And, as Winston Churchill so eloquently pointed out, the first casualty in any war is truth.

In order to extract revenge upon the tobacco industry it was necessary to hit them where it hurt them most - in their pocketbooks. A laudable campaign was launched to convince the citizenry of the dangers of smoking, but when it became obvious that the crusaders were not going to be able to convince everyone to forsake the evil weed a new tactic had to be devised and implemented.

The piece of propaganda that best captured the spirit of the new offensive was an ad that showed a lit cigarette. Printed under the filter end was the world "suicide"; printed under the smoking end was the word "murder". Absolute brilliance. From that point forward the crusaders began convincing their silent allies that they were under siege.

A perfect example of the fear and loathing that has been instilled in people appeared in a recent article in the Vancouver Courier. The owner of Jeremiah's Pub on West 4th Ave. has applied to build a patio at the back of his establishment.

His neighbours are objecting for several reasons, one of which is the disturbance that they would have to endure at the hands of noisy patrons. But one neighbour, who lives 100 metres down the lane from the proposed patio, told the Courier he was worried about the poisonous clouds of smoke that will waft his way: "The wind comes from the southwest," said the complainant. "We're going to be breathing their fallout."

You would think he was living downwind from Chernobyl. This is the kind of shrill hysteria that is masquerading as logic here in La La Land.

So thorough has been the campaign that any scientist who dares to publish a study that may detract from the accepted knowledge is instantly denounced as a stooge obviously on the payroll of big tobacco.

And so we came to the point where the WCB (Workers Compensation Board) rationalized its ban on smoking by proclaiming there is no safe level of exposure to second-hand smoke. None. One whiff, according to the suits in Richmond, and your life is in peril.

Have you ever heard such absurd nonsense? In spite of the fact that this is so far beyond belief as to be laughable, this is precisely how the WCB tried to justify their policy of zero tolerance.

If the WCB was truly concerned for the health of workers, would they have jeopardized the lives of correctional service workers by trying to force those who are confined to the province's penal institutions to quit smoking, cold turkey? Prisoners around the province threatened open and violent revolt upon the very workers the WCB claimed concern for, but the stubborn bureaucrats insisted their orders be followed.

Has there ever been a better example of hypocrisy and cowardice than the WCB's willingness to sit in their safe Richmond compound and play an incredibly dangerous game of chicken with other people's lives?

One bar owner went so far as to equip his staff with scuba equipment, which would provide nothing but pure oxygen. Even that wasn't good enough for obstinate crusaders at the WCB.

Now that the WCB's gambit has been struck down, Vancouver city council has picked up the battle. In spite of the fact numerous adult-orientated entertainment venues have decided to remain smoke-free, councillors are imposing their sanctimonious will upon the people.

Thanks to the convoluted logic that has been foisted upon the public we may, soon, once again, witness the perverse spectacle of legitimate businessmen being treated worse - far worse - than Sky Train crack dealers for trying to earn a living.

Brian Salmi is a Vancouver writer and
one-time candidate for mayor.