Emergency Limpometer Test For Male Smokers

FORCES - The Humorous

After the terrifying revelations of such authoritative charlatans as 60 Minutes' Mike Wallace, the AMA, and the California's Health Board about the link between smoking and impotence, we at FORCES are in a frenzy. How can we possibly fight this overwhelming disclosure"

I say, the antis got us this time!

Here is a test for our readers. Click on the link at the bottom of the page. If it takes you more than five seconds to say "Holy cow!" (or equivalent) to the pictures that will appear, then you people are finished. Those sleazy, sweaty, unhealthy executives of the tobacco companies have done it to you. Though there may still be some small hope with VIAGRA, we strongly recommend that you immediately start a law suit against the tobacco industry to put those bastards in their place.

Here is a link with ASH for the purpose.

We are even willing to be expert witnesses on your behalf, and we will bring our test as "conclusive evidence" for your condition (all expenses paid, plus 25% of the settlement, of course).

Considering the quality of evidence used for anti-smoking purposes, we feel that we are over-qualified, but we'll do anything for the cause of health and honest science!

If instead you are breathless in less than five seconds, then your hydraulic mechanisms are still operational, and the CBS, AMA, and California Health Board are lying dickheads -- though the shortage of breath would clearly indicate to them the negative impact of tobacco on your respiratory system.

OK, people, are you ready"

>>> GO!

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