FORCES - Link to James Leavey's Corner Main Page
 by James Leavey, editor, The FOREST Guide to Smoking in London and The FOREST Guide to Smoking in Scotland
FX: restaurant, chatter, knives and forks clattering 'As Time Goes By' tinkling on a piano GAY SUPERCILIOUS WAITER: Excuse me, sir. Would you mind putting out that cigarette. HUMPHREY BOGART: Yeah. I would. WAITER: I'm sorry sir, but you are sitting in a non-smoking area. BOGART: Not any more, I'm not. What do you think, Sam? SAM, THE BLACK PIANO PLAYER (WHO STOPS PLAYING): Oh I don't want any trouble, Mr Bogart. It seems to me them non-smokers is calling the tune… BOGART: Well you play it, Sam. And I'll smoke it. Now run along little man. WAITER (affronted): Sir! BOGART: And you can go and whistle for the tip. You know how to whistle don't you? WAITER: No, sir. BOGART: Just put your lips together… Now blow. GAY WAITER: I know how to blow, sir. I just don't know how to whistle… PETER LORRE: Ooh, Bogie, I don't know if this is a good idea, upsetting the management… BOGART: Well if I've managed to upset them, it is. What do you think, cuddles? SIDNEY GREENSTREET: You're an absolute bounder, sir, I must confess. Ha! Ha! A man after my own heart. BOGART: I didn't think you had one. GREENSTREET: But the fact remains, this is my restaurant, and I'd rather you didn't smoke in it. BOGIE: And I'd rather I didn't eat in it, but the cigarette improves the taste…. FX: Piano plays: 'Smoke gets in your eyes' FADEOUT
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