The Seattle Times, March 10, 2004, "Pill Helps People Slim Down, Quit Smoking At Same Time,"  by Daniel Q. Haney, The Associated Press:

    "NEW ORLEANS — A new pill in the final stages of testing shows promise in attacking two of humanity's biggest killers by helping people quit smoking and lose weight at the same time. As government officials in Washington launched a campaign against obesity yesterday, doctors at a medical conference here described the new drug as provocative and perhaps ideal for some people. The drug, which could be available in a year or two, works by an entirely new approach — by blocking the same primeval circuitry in the brain that gives pot smokers the munchies. The development could offer a well-timed, one-two punch against Americans' gravest health concerns. Smoking is the country's top killer, but it is rapidly being overtaken by obesity and inactivity. The two problems combined kill more than 800,000 Americans a year. A similar pattern is occurring worldwide, even in developing countries."

    The first question that one asks after reading Mr. Haney's article is how will Federal Reserve Bank Chairman Alan Greenspan handle 800,000 now-immortal baby boomers each year tapping into Social Security? Greenspan recently stated that he sees aging baby boomers creating a crisis problem for the Social Security fund, one that may require reducing benefits. And, who knows, the problem may become so severe that Social Security taxes will need to increase to fund those lower benefits, too! 

    Then it will be necessary in the near future to pay 50 cents extra for each Big Mac and about a buck more per pizza to reduce the consumption of high fat content foods, as Kelly Brownell of Yale University has been promoting since at least December 1994. Why, folks will be so happy about that help from the government to become slim trim, young, and racy that they won't even notice the new costs added to food will fund a nationwide Obesity Master Settlement Agreement!

    Not to worry, though. If the pill works as advertised we silly commoners will eat less, not to mention saving more money because we won't be paying a gazillion dollars per carton for Master Settlement Agreement monopoly cigarettes! Such savings will make it possible for citizens to pay more to government and special-interests for reduced Social Security benefits, less food, and fewer smokes. If the pill works for caffeine, too, we can realize more savings by not paying $4 each morning for a latte. No longer being troubled with the munchies, we won't even have a craving to eat cake.

    It is somewhat serendipity that just when those of the anti-mentality launch their anti-obesity campaign on the heels of a decade-long anti-tobacco jihad Big Pharmaceuticals announces the ultimate one-two knock-out punch pill for both "ailments." Problem is that with the cost of prescription drugs today the whole economic equation falls apart. Savings on food and smokes will be wash with increased costs of obesity and tobacco settlements and higher social security taxes, to which we must then and the mandatory cost of our daily pill.

    Perhaps all of us should just forget about it; sit back, relax, and enjoy a good plastic stick nicotine inhaler. The good news is that the pill works by blocking brain function so we probably won't even notice that we're toking a pseudo-cigarette!