So, let’s see: how long would Princess Margaret have lived, hadn’t she smoked? How long for George Harrison? Has anybody asked these questions? Can any antismoking moron out there answer? And how come the same moron reporters are so silent about the Queen Mother who, at over 100, still smokes and drinks? If I were a moron myself, I would say: "Thank you, tobacco and alcohol, for allowing the Queen Mother to live that long! If it wasn’t for you, she would not still grace us with her presence today." The implicit message is clear: smoke more, drink abundantly, and you’ll live. Thank God, my brain still works (it must be the nicotine!), and I don’t abandon myself to paternalism, hitting people with stupid anecdotes I cannot rationally support. Today, however, I take license.

Perhaps, somebody should start listing the obituaries of the people who have not smoked – and died "prematurely" -- let’s say, before the age of 85. Why 85? Because I say so. Hey, I am not doing anything different than what the World Health Organisation does: label as "premature" any death occurring before an arbitrary age threshold. The only difference between the WHO and me is that I can’t afford to pay authoritative stooges in white coats to say it for me. Back to the obituaries, since we have decided to trash science, truth and common sense in favour of cheap health nut propaganda long ago, we can sure scare the hell out of people with millions and millions of non-smoking, "premature" deaths that could have been prevented, had those people smoked. After all, there is strong evidence (although suppressed) that many positive aspects of smoking exist: think of the protective effects of smoking against Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s diseases, just to mention two. I always wondered why the state, in its "progressive" zealotry to "inform" smokers on the effects of tobacco on health, never mandated to print "Smoking protects against Parkinson’s disease" on cigarette packs. The strong evidence is there!

Come on… non-smoking sucks, gives you bad breath, makes you a bigot and an intolerant, leads you to hypochondria, gets you to wear dirty clothes longer -- and you don’t even look cool! Where there is no smoking, there is bad air because nobody cares to exchange it, since air is not pervaded by the lovely scent of tobacco. Since smoking in aeroplanes has been suppressed, the air circulation has been reduced by 90% -- the press does not say -- and the risk to get airborne tuberculosis and other diseases has increased tremendously – although many hardwood heads out there think that it is "so much better now" (especially the airlines, which save fuel & big dollars). Moreover, the cases of air rage have multiplied – conclusive proof that smoking has a positive effect on air travellers; there is actually no proof, but who cares? Nowadays -- like in the Middle Ages -- cause and effect are intuitive: the sun, in fact, rotates around the earth, and anybody can see that. I see no difference between that and the con men in white coats when they state, without a shred of proof, that passive smoke unquestionably "kills". Enough digression; the overwhelming evidence is decisive: people die prematurely because they fail to smoke; actually, there is a true pandemic of deaths out there… any statistic can prove that non smokers die in greater number than smokers. Smokers, let us start a holy war -- a crusade to convert people to smoking as soon and as much as possible, beginning with schools, where children will be taught to smoke, to save them from becoming premature, non smoking corpses.

Enough nonsense. The institutionalised cons at the WHO cannot prove the etiopathological uniqueness of ONE "tobacco-related" death among the millions claimed with their BS figures, and they stay silent when we challenge them to bring just one shred of scientific proof to support their claims; their silence is very loud, as they can’t do otherwise, since they lie to the governments of the world. Sadly, media morons who, due to interstellar vacuum between their ears, have nothing better to say than "Princess Margaret died because she smoked" echo them. Margaret died because she was 71, and because it was her time to die. Hadn’t George Harrison smoked, he would not have been George Harrison, and probably we would not have enjoyed his beautiful music, written in clouds of smoke from tobacco -- and other substances.

The institutionalised stupidity wants to dumb us down by offering easy scapegoats for the inevitable conclusion of life: death. Like in the Middle Ages, priests who have bleached their cassocks white, point their fingers to the plague-spreaders (smokers and tobacco industry), thumping on the bible of statistical junk science in tribunals of contemporary Inquisition, burning real science and liberties at the stake, and punishing the heretics who dare speaking the truth. Salvation from death and persecution is at hand, however, if you quit smoking, stop thinking, and gratefully join the new religion through obedience to health by edict, and through veneration of gloomy statistics, meant to keep your soul straight by reminding you of the wrath of Goddess Health.

…On second thought, the idea of a list of obituaries for non smokers is not that far-fetched – especially for the morons who are telling us that "If we did not smoke, we would not die." Perhaps we should wait for them to die, then go dance, smoke, and drink on their graves. What a party that would be; count me in for the next one!