Great news for all health addicted: in the United Kingdom the beer and pub industries are facing disaster. “UK beer sales have fallen through the five billion litre mark for the first time since 1975 as the consumer downturn and smoking ban continue to hit Britain’s pubs and brewers. … The effect of the decline in consumption, combined with rising utility and commodity costs, an increase in beer duty, and the impact of the consumer downturn and smoking ban is having a catastrophic impact on Britain’s pubs. … Pub closures are running at 27 a week, according to the BBPA, amounting to some 1,200 that have been forced out of business over the last 12 months.”

Good news cannot get any better than that. Imagine: not only are people smoking less (in pubs), but they consume less beer! Pubs are ugly places of socialization in the first place. In such places there could even be people who tell each other that the antismoking and anti-alcohol propagandas are a fraud. Those are places of conspiracy, where people feel stronger by the numbers and thus there is the risk that they could be less inclined to abide by the frauds and commands of the health authorities.

Furthermore, not only does the smoking ban “prevent” ten zillions of “smoking-related” deaths a year, but it is beginning to “save” people from “alcohol-related deaths” too! And another thing: God knows how many heart attacks are “prevented” by the mere fact that people no longer munch on junk food in those pubs. Look at what we have made up for the passive smoking "related" heart attacks already. We are setting up a (junk) study for that too, so that we can show another success. Finally, can you imagine how many lives will be saved by the fact that people will no longer drive to and from pubs? We already have set aside half a million pounds of public money for that too — to pay off some university so that they come up with the right results.

The success is striking. Prohibition is a wonderful thing, we need more of that – much more! God bless the frauds of public health! Immobility is the best form of prevention: have you ever heard of a plant that dies in a car accident, or because of obesity? Even the British Medical Association can confirm that, and they are the “authority”!

What do you say?… The economy is in shambles? Smoking bans are destroying businesses? Public health-related unemployment is soaring? We have the cure: our “experts” will attribute the disaster to something else — probably some other industry, so we can destroy that too. What do you mean, you are starving?… Come on, that is what the Welfare State is all about: just join the long lists of the poor, the unemployed and the disenfranchised, and we will take care of you. Health first of all – real or imaginary. We need to reach the goal of reducing the smokers’ number by 2010, no matter the cost. Get it?… Health first of all, no matter the cost.

The economy will fix itself, anyway — and if it won’t, we’ll raise taxes. Eh?… What do you mean: “When everybody is poor, you will only have the poor to tax”? Not our department, go to the Ministry of Finances, that will send you to the Ministry of Labour that will send you to the Ministry of Industry – and we will be out of office by then, anyway. We will let our successors hang from the trees when the people’s stomachs are empty. As long as they are healthy, that’s all that matters.

Our self-appointed duty is to “protect” the citizens from themselves, which is exactly what we are doing, thus our moral stand is sound and unquestionable.

What’s your problem, anyway? What industry is paying you off to disagree with us?… Ah, one last thing: please write a complaint or a petition: our washrooms are running out of toilet paper, and we need to recycle stuff to save the planet!

— The Public Health Institutions



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