As evidence of the state of academia we present the latest by columnist Oliver White of the New York University student newspaper.

As a rule we avoid articles written by silly asses but college man Oliver White is a quintessential silly ass. His article therefore represents academic dullness with especial clarity and as such deserves a quick look. Just scan, don’t pore, or you’ll get a headache. Note that White calls everyone he doesn’t like a "communist." Communism amuses him mightily.

Oliver may or may not believe the tobacco industry deliberately makes its products and ETS as intolerably poisonous as possible. Nevertheless he finds smoking irresistible. He enjoys cigars when he’s in the mood. Regardless of this he is mightily annoyed that others smoke and absolutely intolerant of the smoke they produce. They are fools, and murderers, too. White hates them. They certainly should kill themselves but by a means more creative than common tobacco. White’s attitude, he hazily explains, is amusingly reflective of the hypocrisy of American Founding Fathers who preached about freedom while enslaving other men. Slavery, you see, is as much of a hoot as is Communism.

Hypocrisy generally, and the vilification of smokers specifically, tickle Oliver’s funny-bone just as much. Our witty columnist closes by noting that, when comedian Dave Chapelle illegally lit a cigarette on an NYU stage during taping of the television program Inside the Actors’ Studio, his audience of acting students applauded. Smoker Oliver White says this response shows that the audience was composed of morons, who are probably unkempt, and also Communists, naturally enough. We warned you: skim through this screed, that’s all, keep the aspirin bottle handy, and never again wonder at the volume of drivel that can spew from all levels of our "esteemed institutions of higher learning."



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