Yes, according to reports from the United States Senate Environment and Public Works Committee dated Friday, 21 December 2007, over 400 must have sold out to corrupt "flat earthers" who persist in saying that the scare about man-made global warming is a colossal fraud. GLOBAL WARMING JUNK SCIENCE HEADQUARTERS
OFFICIAL ALERT TO ALL MEMBERS — URGENT!
Get a load of this news article (link at bottom this page) that reports what hundreds of critics are saying about us! These despicable individuals have dared damning our holy consensus! They damn us, the omniscient ones, the planetary saviours! We went to great lengths to create expensive opinion science and computer models of our speculations, so the people would know they were doomed, and it was all their own fault! We wanted them to believe they were creating a Hell out of Earth, but now they’re being told that we the saviours were doing that, by scaring the people and threatening them with a choice between economic hardship and sun-baked death. These heretical bastards say that we saviours are not saviours after all! Could we be crazy? Could we be dangerous? A threat to safety? Heresy!
We heroes of planetary salvation had better shut these bastards up once and for all. They are becoming more noisy and daring every day. They even managed to penetrate a bastion of the planetary salvation, the IPCC. Read this if you can bear it: “Over 400 prominent scientists from more than two dozen countries recently voiced significant objections to major aspects of the so-called ‘consensus’ on man-made global warming. These scientists, many of whom are current and former participants in the UN IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change), criticized the climate claims made by the UN IPCC and former Vice President Al Gore.”
That ain’t all. Look — just look — at what all these scientists are saying to the government and the public:
"There’s no need to be worried."
"The average citizen is bamboozled, lobotomized, lulled into mindless acceptance."
"It is all fiction."
"Newspapers should think about the damage they are doing, particularly to young kids, by spreading the exaggerated views of a human impact on climate."
"The only thing to worry about is the damage that can be done by worrying. Why are some scientists worried? Perhaps because they feel that to stop worrying may mean to stop being paid."
Can you believe this?! There’s much more, they go on and on like that, all these goddamned sane scientists, they’re entirely giving us away! We gotta stop this! If our barmy speculations keep getting called barmy speculations instead of facts, well then how can we save the planet and get rid of cars, industries – even cigarettes – to say nothing of going back to the Middle Ages we long for? Can you imagine a car-free universe, without the disgusting smell of car exhausts, and pervaded with the inebriating scent of horseshit that gives a high to any person with a green conscience for health and safety? We want to go back to our lost shit-ridden paradise! We want to force it on everybody! We want what we want and damn everybody else! All this talk of "reason" and "proof" could wreck us! If we aren’t gods anymore, people will stop obeying, they’ll start demanding sanity in public policy. Shut these sane bastards up! We can do it!
Look how well our brothers the Healthists have done with smoking. Nobody questions the “evidence” and all say it is “overwhelming.” It’s crap just like our stuff but they’ve been dishing it out for years and practically everyone laps it up. Who questions that "smoking kills" and "causes cancer", today, except some addicted weirdos at places like FORCES International. They publish proof of the epidemiological fraud, but that’s mostly on the internet, our critics are screaming to government and the press now! If any of our political and press puppets listen, why then, others might start listening too. A whole lot of people could wise up to us. What would they do to us? What do we deserve? It’s scary!
Do like antitobacco. Send out an alarm. Get more grants. Keep saying our crap is fact and keep saying sanity is a Big Oil ploy. Say Big Tobacco’s in on it too. Who cares if it makes sense? People hate them more than they hate any other corporations and nothing we say makes sense anyway. Keep up the same old line. We have a holy cause: WE WILL SAVE THE PLANET FROM MAN AND GREENHOUSE GASES if we have to set fire to all the headquarters of all the oil and tobacco companies or every factory on the planet! Damn it! We’ll burn all our critics at the stake too!
Fortunately we have big wheels on our side who cross-reference with antitobacco. Drag out that hypocritical Doctor Gro Harlem Brundtland. Put a caftan on her to hide the belly. She’s gung-ho for every form of health ‘n’ safety Hell and has all the gall of a charging elephant. Even the critical news article mentions this bigshot: "UN special climate envoy Dr. Gro Harlem Brundtland on May 10, 2007 declared the climate debate ‘over’ and added: ‘it’s completely immoral, even, to question’ the UN’s scientific ‘consensus.’" Now there we go! Let’s see if we can get dissenters locked up on morals charges! Fraudsters must be bold! At any rate, if things really go bad with the warming scam, we’ll just switch back to global cooling. A few of the fellas are keeping that one going just in case. It can work again too. So keep the faith!