It has proven impossible to ban smoking in most areas of Missouri. A frustrated prohibitionist has decided to ban everything else.

The MSNBC headline to the linked article about a proposed ban on swearing in bars — "But if I go outside, I might offend the smokers" — is not really appropriate since bars in Saint Charles, Missouri, do not suffer under a smoking ban. Likely that situation vexes puritanical City Councilman Richard Veit, whose proposed legislation would in fact "ban indecent, profane or obscene language, songs, entertainment and literature at bars." By literature, does he mean novels by Voltaire and Joyce, or toilet graffiti? Better assume all and everything besides.

We are told the councilman’s seemingly unlimited desire to "give police some rules to enforce" makes "some bar owners worry the bill is too vague and restrictive", but they merely feel "it may be a violation of their civil rights", so politely suggest that "the bill needs revision."

How’s that for defense of liberty in the vaunted Land of the Free? One day these pusillanimous booze merchants will start politely negotiating "reasonable restrictions on smoking" and finally go the way of California. The bills will keep coming, and keep getting revised, until smoke-free, fun-free bars get so free they become liquor-free, wine-free, beer-free, and customer-free.

Smoke-free bars across the nation have already lost their best customers. Those would be us. Since we’re not in the sanctified atmosphere of a law-abiding bar we’re free enough to tell you the shit-head ban culture sucks the big one and Richard Veit is a goddamned asshole. The Saint Charles bar owners had better pipe up too before it’s too late.



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