Barack Obama says, “I need to cut myself a little slack,” and therewith endangers the entire populace and democracy as we have come to know it. Our blessedly hateful eugenicists warned us about Obama, about his genes, his heresy, and his terrifying relative risks. The presidential candidate promised penitence, but now, this unspeakably filthy, sickeningly incorrigible, and baldly unrepentant drug addict admits to smoking two more cigarettes in recent months.
Does he not understand that there is no safe level? Has he no compunction for willfully killing darling innocent smiling babies the world over? Decency as we have come to know it dictates that this front-runner declare himself unfit for the presidential and human races.
The high priests have warned us about John McCain too. He is no MD either. We don’t even know what relatively risky personal behaviors he might still be pursuing and hiding from us all. Terrifying indeed!
The solution is clear and the need immediate. Only a military coup headed by a smoke-free sword-wielding Surgeon General can restore democracy as we have come to know it. Save the tow-headed tykes, the nation, and the world: support precious freedom from voting!