In the defective minds of today’s “health conscious” institutions and “health” establishments, nothing but nothing can avoid comparison with smoking – smoking being always the bad guy, of course.

Giving up smoking is the key to everything: immortality/long life, prevention of a list of diseases that is too long to remember, economic crises, crimes, wars, car accidents, terrorism, fires, personal conflicts, indigestion, bad breath, global warming and on and on and on.

Just eliminate smoking – and the world will be a perfect place… if only we could also eliminate drinking, it would be even more perfect… if we could get rid of fat people too, it would be more perfect yet. After all, perfection is the closest thing to God, and that is why healthism is a religion – complete with the superstitions, the hysteria and the fanaticism that is going to MAKE you happy whether you like it or not, with prohibition and punishment.

In short, for these mentally retarded public health types, health is the key to happiness: just take care of that body, deliver it in perfect working conditions to the undertaker, and you will have been a happy human being… and please, don’t ask why that body in perfect conditions stopped working would you?…

Speaking of happiness, this piece is a lighthouse of contradiction. First, the stunning news: the pursuit of happiness is about to become a mathematically quantifiable predictor of health in future epidemiological trash science studies which will open, of course, another path to a new, huge waste of public money that is going to make the recipients very happy characters indeed on the back of the fools who will believe them and call for a blanket ban on sadness.

So, we were saying, now we read that “If you are happy you are likely in the future to have less in the way of physical illness than those who are unhappy” – the contemporary version of the “Pursuit of happiness” of the Fathers of the US Constitution, but in public health baboon format. The baboon in question, this time, is Dr Derek Cox, Scottish Director of Public Health. Who else could say something like that?… Certainly not a logical man.

Let it be clear: there is no doubt that happiness is good for health. Less stress, less tension, more stable blood pressure… and we are sure that there are thousands of other reasons to reinforce the statement that happiness is good for you – and you need no doctor or “experts” to figure that out.

But what is happiness? If you enter the phrase “definition of happiness” into any search engine you get thousands of returns, all different from each other. It is such an arbitrary concept that the Free On Line Dictionary happily avoids a direct definition. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary dares a little more, and defines happiness as “a state of well-being and contentment” – nothing that a good intoxication with Prozac cannot achieve, mind you, complete with idiotic smiles and smoking cessation. “Public health”, represented by its supreme and omniscient beast, the World Health Organization, defines happiness as: “The state of complete mental and physical and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”

If that is the case, it is clear that smoking bans make smokers unhappy – very unhappy – to say nothing of firing them, killing them, not hiring them. Ditto for all the other targets of “public health”, such as the obese and the drinkers. These people are being made unhappy by “public health” (in the name of health); and since unhappiness is contrary to health, clearly public health is trying to kill them. Far-fetched? Not really – especially if you compare it with the false information on the effects of smoking on health, which is far more far-fetched than any conceivable statement about happiness and health may be.

We are happy when we smoke, especially inside offices, restaurants and airplanes. By denying smoking on the false pretences of epidemiological trash, public health denies us health and contravenes its mandate. And the argument that if we quit smoking we are going to be happy does not work, for we are very unhappy when we don’t smoke.

So, once again, our unhappiness caused by public health ruins our health and defines the public health authorities as a bunch of criminals, which is what we have always said. Quod erat demonstrandum.

Happy smoking. Smoke right in the face of anti smoking public health. That will make you very happy, and that’s good for your health.

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