BAN PEOPLE!
Global warming got you heated up? Worried about the long-term dangers of chemical residues from plastics, farting cows, industrial pollution, cigarette butts on sidewalks, and vulgar t-shirts sold to teens at the local mall? Fretting over the old cholesterol count? Maybe your own middle age wrinkles haunt your dreams (“to botox or not to botox”). Is God a Democrat, a Republican, or is he simply a mirage, a left-over imprint on ancient DNA that serves no purpose in our high-tech age? You may find yourself wondering — with millions of others — why Paris Hilton, and why in our lifetime? (And why do people in Mozambique and Nigeria rarely tackle that question?) Why was I born, why am I lonely, and why won’t the government do something about it?
Sometimes it’s all just a little too much, isn’t it, kids?
Well, now there’s a hot new “solution” that’s sure to ease your millennial anxiety. And while it can’t guarantee that the threat of unauthorized cigarette puffing will disappear before you do, it’s nice to know that someone’s rooting for the elimination of the human race and all the completely unfair problems of living, that come from an overcrowded planet, while sustaining. Yes, that’s right; there’s a new (and apparently serious) nihilistic anti-human movement to provide comfort and succour to those tortured souls who completely lack balls or ovaries (as the case may be), and would love to crawl back into the womb and abandon mother earth. Ain’t the 21st century grand?
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